Power .. Politics : Transformation of 4 Days.

It was the Delhi election day, every morning chill was just settling down. I saw a weak man in camouflage raising his hand and greeting everybody in a very typical yet amateur Political way as I was waiting for my turn to vote in the queue. After a bit of recollection I recognized him, he was Surender Singh the AAP candidate for Delhi Cantt.

I knew about his heroics in the 26/11 Mumbai Terror Attacks and the plight he went through after it, I was excited .. thrilled, to be more precise.  I had the inner urge to talk to him but till the time I could think of my first words to start the conversation, he went past me and started meeting other voters in the queue. The queue was long and I was not in a mood to get out of it after being so close to the polling both. A bit clueless being a first time voter, I proceeded and registered my vote.

"Finally, I am a responsible citizen" the voice in my head said as I looked at the dark ink mark on my finger. I was heading home but I caught Surender Singh talking to some people just outside the election center. I had to talk to him, following my instincts I went up to him and even before I could think of saying something he spoke with a Haryanvi dialect, "Aur Bhai Daal Diya Vote ?". "Aapko hi diya hai .. abb nirash na karna" I replied with a chuckle. "Arey Sewa ka mauka to do aap" he said with his hand patting me on back and assuring me I voted for the right candidate.

We were just some seconds in the conversation and it was hindered by a policeman , late in his 30s. "Oye yahan gate ke saamne khade mat ho .. chalo yahan se" shouted the man with a huge beer-belly. Surender Singh in a very calm and composite manner explained him "Bhai .. Main Pravakta hoon Aam Aadmi Party ka" to this the Inspector reacted a bit more angrily saying "Koi Bhi ho .. chalo yahan se , Duty karne do hume", the retired Commando very humbly said ,"Chalo bhai haat rahe hai" and moved aside.

Its been five days, the new candidate defeated the mighty Karan Singh Tanwar and is now the ruling the Delhi Cantonment Constituency for Aam Aadmi Party. The man who fought bravely for 14 years in wars and operations like Kargil War, Operation Parakram, Operation Sadbhavna and Operation Black Thunder was freed of his duty when he was injured by an enemy grenade, losing his hearing ability. 

The man who was nothing a few days ago has now got everybody's attention, the party name justifies the representatives of its, it would be really interesting to watch that policeman coming face to face with Surender Singh now , the "Aam Aadmi" turned VIP.

Increasing Rapes : Chandramuki Chautala to join Delhi Police .

Rape City , Delhi :   

"The only thing they (Delhi Police) learnt from Nirbhaya's case was to ill treat the peace protest that happen afterwards" , said a disturbed Prime Minister . * YES HE TALKED , imagine how grave the situation is * .

The reports of Rapes are coming on a regular basis , but the recent one that got the whole nation's attention was the brutality with a 5 year old girl . The kid was traumatized for as long as three days and had severe wounds in her genitals . 

A 200 ml hair oil bottle and two Candles stuffed  in her private parts .

The inglorious Police were already being criticized for not taking proper and quick action , to make it worse the Parents of the "victim" slapped even more shameful allegations on the state Police . "They offered me 2,000 Rs to hush up saying I should not make the case public and be happy that at least she is alive ." *True Story*

"I am having a Deja-vu , We would protest , They would imply Sec-144 A , Fast Track court would take the cases and ? . And nothing after a month or so again this would happen . Why can't you hang the rapist right here , right now ? ." argued 22 year old Swati .

We tried to contact the CM , Sheila Dikshit but she was not home . Maybe is busy filling the Water Cannons up or practicing a speech written by her PR person .

The Police is now pro-active , no not against the crime . The security at Rashtrapati Bhavan has been increased by many folds , they learn from the past but just wrong bits .

The PM further said , "The ACP of Gandhi Nagar has been suspended and I woud like to inform you that we have elected Chandramuki Chautala from FIR to take his place . I have seen her solve many cases , hope she could do that here also like she did in Imaan Chowki ." The reporters were quite amazed by PM , but they were happy that at least he is concerned .

Rahul Baba was soon to join the bandwagon , "ACP and Daya should also be a part of Delhi Police , Daya Kisi ko ek baar maarta hai to fir wo to direct jail mein hi jaata hai ." He was hoping for another outrage against him but seems the online world is now accustomed to his stupidity .

However , many legal experts are still backing the PM , "What Delhi needs now  is a Strong Woman who can feel the emotions of the people and act aptly , Moreover she would feel home with so many constables with broken English and a Bear Belly ."

Navjot Singh Pidu talked to Faking News , "Guru Sharam Ki Baat Hai Ye , Kya Kar Rahi hai Police ? Police Station mein baith ke IPL dekh Rahi Hai ? . Wo bhi din bhar Kahan aata Hai , Highlights bhi dekhte ho ? "  

Many satellite dish companies capitalized by introducing their Live tv recording feature with the tagline "Harworking Indians . For those who don't have time to watch TV " .

We got in touch with Woman of the moment , Chautala , 
"Bhai Yo Jo Ho Raha See Dilli Mein , Bada Galat Ho Riha Hai . Ab main aa Gayi hun , aisa Danda Chalaungi Ke Saale Sab Mardo ki akal Neeche se Jo Hai , Upar aa jayegi . Kya Kehte hai Tumhara .. Right Piiilace mein . Ha . "

The constable with her ended the conversation with , 
"Diilhi Abb Nahi Karegi Crime Sehen is the , Mom aake karengi Rapists Ki Maa-Bhen is the . "

Hills , Rivers and Friends

Well , You know the ingredients mentioned above when mixed in a right proportion could result in a killer dish . ( Sorry Master-chef Fans , That is all I would talk about cooking )

As you would have guessed (Most of you) , this post is about my trip to Rishiskesh and Haridwar .

The Strongest Bonds are made in Heaven .
Well ,  That was the very basic idea with which we planned a trip to the Heaven's replica .

The experiences and lessons we learn t were invaluable , It is not possible to describe it into words .

Yeah , but I am giving it a shot ;)

Lets look at it day by day ..

Day 0

"Bhot Ho Gaya Salo abb toh Kahin Ki Trip Bnao" , you might have heard these words often while hanging out with your friends . Well , it started off from the same point .
Out of no where , the next day  I saw  a list with the names and the amount due .
Being a guy who was held back from playing Cricket just because of the fear of hitting by the ball , I really didn't had much hope of my Dad's approval .
However  , with the garnishing of some white lies I asked my Father about the "Educational Trip" .
I don't know if my stars were aligned perfectly or was it just the alcohol , but my Dad just gave a green signal without even  a second thought .

Day 1

The little doors of the cage opened ,  we were all set to take our first independent step ..
We were all pumped up and excited but we forgot one thing ! ...
We were going by Indian Railways !!
The excitement drained out by each passing minute on that big Station clock .

Finally , after almost 110 Minutes of delay our train arrived .. We were charged up ..

Sleeping , Eating , Singing , Teasing , Beating we had so much to do that the six hour journey felt like seconds .
We reached the Holy (Read Dirty) Haridwar Railway Station around 11 P.M .

Did I mention we were 13 friends together ? Never mind , so out of the total only 2 % were feeling sleepy . We just threw our stuff in the Hote Room and went on to Harki Podi  for taking a dip . AT MIDNIGHT ..
The freezing water however gently whispered in our ears , "You Sure ?" .
The consensual answer of the majority was a No , a big fat No .

So , After just having a cold feat . I mean literally cold feat by putting them in the river we headed back to our place . Also important to mention the Tea Break we took in between .



This all was so new to most of us that we were not believing it is actually real ! It was really difficult to sleep for the soul , but the mind was nagging the eyes for not doing so ..

I was about to surrender but then there are friends ! I would have uttered some hurtful stuff back then , but  I really enjoyed the 4 am chats on the top of the roof .  

The alarm of the next day was set at 6 am , we had to leave for Rishikesh for camping . I decided to capitalize on the 2 hours window , but ended up a Goat for a Prank . Its good that I don't get scared easily ;)

Day 2 

After the *Full of* Sound sleep of first day , We woke up tired but the imagination of putting up in a camp and sitting next to a bonfire worked as an antidote .

Fighting for "Who would go next in the Washroom ?" we got ready . Ok it may sound a bit filmy but yes we were feeling like we are in Roadies and we have set out for our next task .

Nothing is better than an open car with stereos blaring out loud music  for traveling in such places , Unfortunately our trip was not sponsored by Karan Johar . But , a two side open auto with "Fevicol Se" leaking out of the speakers was close enough .

Singing , Dancing , Ducking down on bumpy roads we reached Rishikesh . It was an hour drive but the minutes passed like words in a rap song .

"Paddy Adventures" , Yes the company that arranged the rafting and camping programmes for us *Sir , Advertising Partner , Can I  ?" . I don't know whether we were VIPs or Paddy Bhai is that generous for all but he was there to Welcome us in Rishikesh itself .

Enough of details , next thing we did was boarded on Safaris for going to the Camps , A tipsy turny road led us to the venue . The journey was full of "OO BC" , "Awww" *Yes Girls* and "Wo Dekh Yaaar" , You can imagine the landscape ! 

As soon as we stuffed our luggage in our respective tents , we hit the shores . Wearing life jackets , we entered the waves also . It was just amazing , the cold , pure water of Ganga was soothing the tired soul of ours . 

After the fun and frolics of a couple of hours , we returned to our camps * Barely 10 m from the river* . It was lunch time , Must appreciate the food *Paddy Bhai I deserve some profit ;) * .

 The afternoon saw us watching beach volleyball  and sitting on the shores and throwing pebbles in the river . 

Did i describe the view from the tent ? Just like the painting we use to make in our Kinder-Garten times , a huge Hill behind which the sun sets a free flowing river and some more hills in the close vicinity .

Finally came the bonfire time , with snacks and stories of ghosts nothing could have been more comfortable than the warmth of the fire .

Well , I don't believe in Ghosts and so didn't my friends in Sleeping . To be precise , the five of them . It was adventure time , around the storke of midnight we decided to go for a stroll near the beach area . Went a little too far , then I realized the light emitted from the lantern in my hand , Yeah I had to put in efforts . I now know why wild animals killed a lot of people in the olden times ! 

After a successful prank of one , the rest were scared . After abusing him we decided to go back to the base camp *Always Wanted to Say That* . The scenary I must say was life the sets of Twilight , The big full moon ahead and Hills with gaint trees around .

Finally , after playing some more pranks we surrendered to sleep .

Day 3 .

Rafting Day .

The day all of us were waiting for .

After just some introductory lessons we boarded in our raft . Rafting doesn't sound much cool , Well its full name is WHITE WATER RAFTING . Seems a big thing now , hai na ?

There was one "Raft Guy" with us , the good thing about him was he was always smiling *It annoyed us later , Will tell you* . The journey started with "Twinkle Twinkle little star , Ganga Maiyya Super Star" other such brilliant work of poetry :p

It was going all well in the plain water , but as soon as the first rapid *Area with gigantic waves* came my shorts were wet even from the inside . The cold water just splashed us to a corner of the raft , although the "Raft Guy" managed to save it from flipping .

Then we crossed some more Rapids , now the fear was being transformed into the adrenaline rush and we were enjoying . Then came plain waters , our "Raft Guy" told us to jump out of the raft .

Yes , now we were annoyed by his smile . Terrified , holding the ropes of the raft we asked "Bhaiyaa , Koi Dubb Jaye to Aap Bachane Jate Ho Na ?" he with a smile and a modest face replied "Nahi , bhaiyaa . Nahi Aayenge" .

However , we gathered the courage and left the ropes . A.M.A.Z.I.N.G was the word *Actually it was Bhencho* , it was like floating on the clouds *Life Jackets* . Beneath us was the 80 ft. river .

After 15 minutes of "Swimming" he pulled us back on the raft . By now , we started to love  him a little less . Fair Enough No ?

The 16 KMs felt barley 60 Meters , and next we know we were lifting our raft out of water .

That day we stayed in Rishikesh itself , Thanks again Paddy Bhai the resort you recommended us was awesome . I fear they would not think of us the same way ;) , Well there were few complaints about the ruckus we created on a regular basis . 

Day 4

The last day , we went back to Haridwar . The three days were for us , this day we thought of buying Souvenirs for family and friends and Girlfriends *Not Me* . The first thing you can take as souvenir from Haridwar is the holy "GangaJal" *Damn You Student of the Year* , we took it and went shopping for other handicrafts and clothes .

The next day we had our train at 5 AM .

"Koi Nahi Soyega Aaj Saala" was the motto of the night , Yes most of them still slept . 

Day 5

This time we used all of our seats , came back sleeping the whole journey .

Days of Distress

Well , Day 6 .. 7 .. 15 .. 18 . Till the very recent present we suffered from hangover . Chill Parents , the Holiday Hangover .

Alcohol is banned in Haridwar for its the only place where you can get high by being sane .

Conclusion 

The five days taught us the lessons we would have not learn in a 5 years span . You gotta take the wind by your own little wings if you want to rule the sky later .

Parents and Teachers can just feed you with knowledge , only friends can experiment it with you .

 

Valentines Day : 24 Hours of Love

"Would you be my Valentine ?"
A perfect and classy *Read Romantic* substitute for many Desi versions like "Mujhse Fraandship Karogi" , "Wanna Go Out" or "I am Rich" .. 
All thanks to St. Valentine , 
The Dude who made possible a day only dedicated to love and the lovers .

History 

Don't freak out , it won't be boring . Moreover you owe it to the man who started it all .
Oh , Yes one more thing ..
We are not sure which part of the story is true , like many other important events Valentines Day also has many stories contesting as a backdrop of it . I would only tell you the famous ones *Because I don't know others* . The Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus , So we are not sure of the Man who was the Father or the V-Day *DNA Test Fail* .

The first version ...

 Valentinus , a Christian Martyr who lived in Rome in the third century . Rome was back then ruled by the oppressive Emperor Claudius II . He wanted a fancy big fat Army up his sleeves , however the Roman Men didn't volunteer to join the army and leave their wives and families , That S.O.B made a preposterous law against marriages hoping it would increase the magnitude of his army .

As , Valentinus was a Priest this new law was directly pointing a knife to his domain . Obviously , he was against it . Well , most of the people were but he was a brave one . He secretly continued to get the Soldiers married  only till he was caught and sentenced to death by the bit*h Claudius .

The Priest however had gained recognition for the guts of his , and had became a symbol of love for all the Countrymen . Many young people came in the jail to pay him visits , threw flowers and notes up his window to let him know that he did the right thing , he is not alone they too believe in love .

Addition to the First Version ..

The story I told you above was enough to make belief that "Ohh Thats How it All Began" , but wait ..
Some people believe that Valentinus himself was the inspirational "lover"  ..

During his tenure in Jail or lets just say before he was punished to death ..
He met the daughter of the Prison Guard , Not Secretly . Mind it .
The prison guard had respect in Valentinus's intellect so he wanted his blind daughter to learn from him .
They two had great time together *Don't think Dirty* , and had made a bond of friendship and loyalty ..
On the eve of his death Valentinus wrote a last note to Julia *Sorry i forgot to mention her name before*
He thanked her for all her support and affection and signed the letter *Read Love Letter* as ..
"Love , From Your Valentine"
February 14, 270 A.D. , near a gate that was later named Porta Valentini in his memory.   
He was buried at what is now the Church of Praxedes in Rome.
It is said that Julia planted a pink-blossomed almond tree near his grave. 
Today, the almond tree remains a symbol of abiding love and friendship .

The Reach ..

The festival of love is adopted by almost all of the regions of the world . 
The beautiful message that "You can't stop Love"  proved universal .
Even countries like India , where most of the Western Ideas are criticized hands down has opened up the narrow window to let it in our life styles . *Forget the Moral Police*

Any Message ?

Yes , Definitely a message . This day isn't just for the ones who have a partner , I am myself a one sided lover . This day is to remind us that "Love is eternal , Love is beautiful" , the feeling of being in love itself is heavenly .

and yes , LOVE IS NOT SEX ..
It may be a very crucial part of it , but it is the second step . Don't make it the very first ..

In the End , just wish you all a very Happy 

        Watch the Short and Sweet history of Valentines Day

Life after Death : Hacked Facebook

What it is like to Lose a Facebook Account ?

The account that you had since your "Attaining-puberty" era ..
The account that you had when you got enrolled in a College ..
The account that was the first media of communication between you and your Crush ..

If you know it , you can feel my pain .. If you don't , you are lucky !!

Well , it is just like losing a Yearbook , couple of Albums and your Personal Diary all at a same time !

To be honest , 
I had plans to show my "Timeline" to my Grandchildren as a proof that I too had fun when I was at my Prime , My Young age ..

An evidence that my face wasn't wrinkled from the very start ..
A testimony that I too was funny in my era ..

Well , Seems like the plans were bending over waiting for that hacker .. 

Since I am a positive person , I made some theories to convince that Old Dying Man inside me that "Whatever God does , It is intended for Good" ..

It WAS a good morning , I slept sound .. had some beautiful dreams too .. It was Saturday after all ..
But the blood circulation rate increased suddenly when I saw a pink message box "Login Error" ..

Well , after sometime my Heart was behaving just like a typical motor , Pumping cold water instead of Warm Blood !

I tried vigorously to regain access to my account , but it was like Manmohan Singh trying to sing along with Eminem on his Karaoke ..

After some time I got stable *PS : Thanks to the inventor of BC , MC , etc *

I accepted I am officially stripped off my own Timeline !!
I was pretty sure that it isn't a friends deed , because there was no status reading "I am Gay" 

What Now ? 

Its not the end of the *social* world , The best thing about dying virtually is you can get reborn instantly ..

To a few's happiness and for many's distress , I came up with another Facebook profile ..

 

Though this time I have a little less amount of the trust factor on Mark Zuckerburg's security policies ..

The Positives ..

A fresh start , "Looks are deceptive" so are the DPs of Facebook , this time I know the persons more than their DPs so the "Friends on Facebook-Enemies in Life" ratio would be much less ..

No one can stalk the past *read Stupid* Me ..

The Negatives ..

There are some "f"riends that you really need for a well oiled Facebook mechanism , 

in simpler terms The "I will Like any Crap of Ours" friends ..

Moral 

Social life is not that important , You can still live with it ..

But , it is really nice to have a successfully organized one  ..

You can get Hacked anytime , but do take precautions ..

Don't be like ..

Kumbh Mela Ready to be Sizzled

Allahabad : The world’s number one DJ David Guetta is in talks with the Saadhu community of India to rock the Kumbh Mela of 2013 . The biggest religious gathering of the world happens once in 12 years , the devotees don’t want to take any half measures .

Petticoat Baba spoke to us , “ This is our Sunburn , This is our New Year .. When every one is going western , Why can’t we ? Moreover , an Indian DJ won’t justify the auspiciousness of the moment . ”

Earlier , Honey Singh was into consideration but following the controversies he has created the Saadhu committee played safe with David Guetta . “ I will miss Dope Shope and Brown Rang but Bechaara Honey Singh phasa hua hai , Chalo suna hai ye Gutta bhi aacha baja leta hai ” a Senior Saadhu expressed his reaction on the fuzz .

 Sources have confirmed that Snoop Dogg is the surprise element , The singer kept his participation a secret as instructed by the Saadhus . The truth came out when the Agohri Babas were seen enjoying with him during the Shahi Snaan. He will be performing on the closing ceremony of the Kumbh Mela .

 
Well , we hope the holy Sangam brings happiness to all the devotees .  

*Fake Sources

Fear among Masses as Bigg Boss Nears End ..

The New Year isn’t pretty for all , 
Many people are worried about ending of the reality show Bigg Boss on Colors TV .... 
No , not the Fans of the show ..

The fact that the inmates are gonna be exposed out in the world with them is haunting the mass . 

“I have moved out of my apartment , fearing an any time eviction of Rajiv” Riya Sharma , a 35 Year old divorcee neighbor of the contestant gave the statement in a hurry running down the stairs. Most of the female acquaintance have already downloaded the "Bhaiya Mere Rakhi Ke Bandhan Ko Nibhana" song as a preventive measure . 

Sana Khan’s close friends are fearing the Bollywood bachelors and the Bhais of Mumbai following her over popularity .. The female friends of Sana are also being looked suspiciously after the former's coziness with ex-contestant Aashka Goradiya ...

While , The teachers of St. Mary School have decided to boycott the next Parent Teacher Meet as Urvashi Dholakia is seen getting aggressive when her children are being talked about .

The political parties are also seeing a glimpse of Niketan as a next PM due to the staggering similarities of his speech personality with Manmohan Singh and is considering him a strong competitor. On Jantar mantar , Arvind Kejriwal's new allegation termed this as a Government conspiracy to justify keeping mum on every issue through the reality show .

The party goers are also terrified of bumping into Imam and having an argument , most of the nightclubs have restricted the entry of men with wigs for precaution ...

However , not all the people are nervous . 

The Hijra Community of Mumbai expressed excitement to greet Rajiv Paul and give him a piece of their mind *and other parts also* on the positive side all the middle aged divorced men have got their hopes up and are looking for his tutorials for netting a 23 year old girl .

Meanwhile , Cartoon Network has also sparked the discussion of making a sequel to Tom and Jerry by casting Rajiv Paul and Imam Siddique .

NASA is expected to contact Imam following the regular complaints of Astronauts regarding the lack of entertainment in Space , Although the Indian scientist rubbished the reasoning of NASA saying "Probably they have found aliens and are hoping Imam can interact with them" ....

Also several medical institutes have shown interest in conducting research on the mind of Mr. Entertainment , If at all it is found .

Unlike most of the people , PM remained unperturbed as usual , in his press conference Manmohan Singh said, “I am not at all upset , In fact I am excited about the next season of Na Bole Tum Na Maine Kuch Kaha , Theek Hai ?”

*According to *fake* Sources