Saturday 25 August 2012

Monsoon-o-Mania ..

What Young India Wants .... Ohh wait not here to promote Chetan Bhagat's Work ...

What the Indian People Want ??
                       Well , Leaving the lavish needs as Food , Shelter and Clothes ...

    and the basic needs as Mobile phone to all people below the BPL . ;)
                                              

                                               Lets talk about the Monsoon needs ...




         On Top of the List ,

- MET department to be more accurate ,
                        The Ultratech Truck of Aaj Tak seldom points the right Weather .

- Working Traffic Lights , all the three colors .
               Get rid of the Lights that automatically start winking after seeing the black clouds .

- Less Swimming Pools on the Way to work ,
                                            or just put some Chlorine in them  .

- Dish Antennas with a technology to catch signals until the TV is Submerged deep into water .

- Umbrellas with Trackers ...

- and Yeah Please hire NASA to design vehicles for Indian Roads ,
     C'mon their "Curiosity" is walking on Mars !!
  Just a few Modification and Boom , A thing suitable for the Capital pits err..  I mean Roads .

- If it rains , Make it Cats and Dogs  nobody needs Kittens and Puppies Raining .
      With Schools Close Colleges also , its not that College students are made of plastic or something .

- Start BRT , No No not the Bus one ... (Bus) Boat Rapid Transit ...
 
- Call the Creators of GTA and activate "Seaways" for our cars .

- Last but not the least , Cover the Stadium whenever our Team is about to win
                                    and the Rain Gods decides against it ... *The Ongoing Match*

 

Saturday 18 August 2012

Ex-O-Dus Measures ....

Saturday morning was a mess for most of the people ... Not like Monday morning , in a different way ...
Who would have known they can't message after ...

"Oye Saale College Jayega Aaj" ... * to 5 people *

* Rare instance When you wishes you should have read the newspaper *

PS - Thanks to BBM and WhatsApp , but still 80 % of communication got barred .

All these discussion of "Communication Gap " seems moot now ...



 Forget about Communication ...

    - What would you do when you are stuck at a red light with a good "160" Seconds to Spare ?? ...

     -  What would you do in Lectures ?? .... Study ?? ... Well , Situations are not that worse yet ;)

    -  What would you do when a Hot Gal / Guy walks by ??  * avoid awkwardness *
                                                                                                                                                           
   -  During Constipation ?? !!!

Well , on a positive note ... 

- No one would bump in Lamp Posts and Trees while Texting and Walking ...

- No Phones would be confiscated by the College Faculty ..

- You would actually Know How your Parents are doing ....

- You will talk to your friends , looking at their face .... Instead of the mobile ...

- and  Yeah , No more of "Jai Durga Maa .. Ye Msg 10 logo ko bhejo warna aap fail ho jaoge "

- You could hear the voice of the Gal *Crush* you are texting from over months ...

- Ur wrtng wud imprv and Yew Wnt Rite Lyk Dis in ur Exms ... :p

- Take it from me .... The fights *misunderstandings* would decrease a lot ...

- After 15 days , Your mobile addiction would decrease a little ... Take it as a rehab ... *Something your parents couldn't do , the Government did*


ohk and yeah , please stop critisizing the Government for this ... Seems stupid but they would have given it a thought before implementing .... Stop the Exodus !!!


Wednesday 15 August 2012

Bharat Maa Ki ....

Jai ......

"Sone ki Chidiya , Dengue Malaria ... Gud bhi Hai Gober Bhi Bharat Mata Ki Jai" ...
Kudos to the lyricist , I mean such an apt description ....

Before I start i would like to say ... "I <3 India" ...

ok , so ......  Ever seen a Helpless Indian ? .... Rare sight no ? ...
Talk about ...  Jugaad  .... We have illiterates here but everyone has a Ph.D in this subject ...

You aren't Indian if you never add water to the Ketchup when its about to finish ...Or collected the rubber bands that comes with the morning Newspaper ...

Forget about day to day life ... See , the typical side ...

Don't have many trains to your destination ... hang on ...
Na really Hang on ... Losers wait , Not Indians ...





Need to pee ... can't find a place ...
What are walls for man ?? !!




Need a Visa ? .. Don't have proper Documents ?? ... Chill yaar ....


Hey , we have Creative Jugaads too ...
Who would have thought Webcams can be that helpful ...


   The next one is heights  ,
   If you are not an Indian , FYI his last name means Sisterfucker...
   That too not in any other language but our own mother tongue .




These are all basic levels ... just travel around you will see some high levels of the art ...




.. "Atithi Devo Bhava" ... This Sanskrit saying means "Guests are god" ....
Well , The Government just have a slight misunderstanding ... According to them it extends to "Terrorists" ..


A little moot , but i think what else could be the reason of spending Crores on a sure shot criminal who created a massacre .....

A country where kids get a degree only to follow thier dad's business ...

Politics ...

Sleeping Governance , Dog in front .

 A lot of mind scratching can be done on  "Who is more Peacefully sleeping .. The animal or the Governance"


Well its not all depressing ...

A lot of things is being said about the Cheapness of Indian people ....
Well , Laugh all you want .. But our Cheapness actually benefited the whole world .

Who else would have come up with a number having the lowest possible value ... The "0"
That actually gave us the amount we willingly spend ...


India is rich of Colors ... Get out on streets and you don't need earphones to get entertained ...
So eventful are the surroundings ...

Colorful Taj Mahal India


The people are Extraaaa Caring here ...

 The beauty of Indian roads is that if the Tyre of your car gets punctured or the car door is open , at least 10 people would inform you ....

The whole country has an amazing Unity in Diversity ...

Bollywood , Cricket and the Numerous Festival ....

The passion is just phenomenon  ...

and the Weddings ?? .... The big Fat Indian Wedding where 200 other people are invited whom you've never met ... but all celebrate as if  its their own .....

Grand Wedding Indian Shaadi


If I ever meet god .. First of all I will thank him for sending me to this land mass ....
 Secondly would request for another tenure here ;)
 ....

Hoping it will prosper and be the one of a kind Developed Country with the spice of the Traditions and Culture that are long lost in the west ...

JaI Hind !!!

Miss U England ...


Happy Independence Day folks ...
Today we complete 65 years living on our own ....

Must have been hard on England after the "Break-up" ... But , We Never left their side ....

and see after all these years ...
We have a motherland ... Canada .. I mean Second motherland ..





Our ancestors were like "You can't come here and leave , wait We are coming with you" ...

Most of the times , all we hear is of the atrocities the English rule did , the names of Cruel Men in power ,
The limitations , The negative side ...
Well , Fair enough ...

But don't take the credit of the Good things they did ...

I mean , The Sati Pratha  , Widow Remarriage , Dowry and many more superstitious rituals ..

Yeah , they crossed the line ... greed does that to you ...

Well , my point is ... Spare some thoughts for them also ...
They illegally invaded us and ruled but see we are legally enjoying their resources ;)

... and yeah Thank you Britishers for all the nice things you left behind .... especially Cricket ... \m/


Tuesday 14 August 2012

Is a Medal That Important ??

How much does it takes to be on Top of the Tally ??
How much it takes to have a representative in almost every event ??

Well , A LOT ... a lifetime ... the whole Childhood ...

China led the Olympics tally ..
You remember , The little 16 year old Ye Shiwen ??
She mesmerized the whole world  by breaking the world record of
                                                      400m-medley swimming competition ....



Surprising , isn't it ?? ...

If only you knew her training methods ....
Shiwen's teacher realized she can be a good swimmer ... as soon as the news spread , She was taken away by the government officials , to a school , a Hostel .
Her new name was  "Sports Person 137"  ... Ye Shiwen was lost somewhere ..

For the years to come , she was taught swimming the hard way ..
Injected by steroids at times ...
Shiwen had to swim all day and she would get rest only while she is cleaning the same swimming pool ..
Although her story end up with a Gold ..
Not everyone is born with a golden destiny .

There have been many arguments on the Chinese way of "Manufacturing Athletes" ...
Not everyone can survive the tough training , the torture , the nerve wrecking pressure ..


The cruel trend started in 1980 
 Teachers all over were informed to keep a gauze on the kids with  potential ...
The small kids are brainwashed and  forcibly focused to the "Olympic Medal" ...

The results go otherwise many a times ,....
Kids are being beaten to death or emotionally scared for the rest of their life .


Seriously , Is a medal That Important ?
The talent is a curse there ....
The innocence , the warmth of a family , the natural way of growing up is being played with .

Those who Don't belive take a look .... 




Pity those kids and those parents ... Hope things would improve ... !!
The government's greed is a real shame ...

Monday 13 August 2012

Where Do We Lack ?? *Olympics*

China ... The country with the most population ,
Simple maths ... more the options better are the odds of winning ..
Fine enough , they stood first ...

India , Country that comes after China in population , failed to do so in Games ...  and failed badly.
We stood 55th .

It is not that we have a geographical disadvantage or any biological barrier ...
The potential is huge , and is quite evident .

As I type , Right now there would be a teenager bettering Phelps timeon the isolated shores of a distant river .


Or a Usian Bolt running from the cops for a petty theft ....


Or in his case a Baaghi made by the society

Well apart from the numerous small reasons ... the dominant ones are ....

The lack of information in the rural part of the country ... The gap between the developed India and rural India is huge ... Forget Olympics , they don't have a TV to watch ...

The "Mera Beta To Engineer Banega" attitude ......
Then if the Beta even flunks , no worries .. make donations and get him into a college ..
All the athletic traits of him are accused of being "Aawara" ....

Well , Thanks to media the thoughts are changing ...
We increased our medal tally Double-fold ...
Statics in which even China can't beat us ;)

In the end , I would just like to say .. Give you support to the Sports ..
Help the athlete with potential ...
Economically , Emotionally , Mentally ... any way you can ...

One day we will Beat China in Population *very soon* and in the medals tally too .... ;)

Sunday 12 August 2012

Gold Lost .

Not being Negative but ,

     Its a gold lost instead of a Silver won .

The way this man started this Sunday morning .... the evening was not on the same note, or lets say on the same mat ,


Daar ke Aage Jeet hai , that was quite evident when the Wrestler Defeated the Bejing Gold Medalist in the opening match . *thanks to the lucky balls*
Before the match , all he said was , "If you gotta win a gold , you have to defeat a gold medalist"  

The next two matches were quite comparatively easy ...
Still , he had to wrestle the way ....
finally , He Stormed his way to the final ....  smacking bodies down ... Biting ears ... etc etc ...

Wrestling Sushil Kumar


However , the man was out of sorts when the final show time came ..
The Japanese player wasn't offered much of resistance on his way to the gold .

Whats done is done ...

Well , a medal is a medal ... *When you have only 6 of them*

Well played man ...
Bejing - Bronze .. London - Silver ... Next .. u know ...

Congrats once again ... at least a podium finish for India in Olympics .

Thank you ,

              This Sunday was Brought to you by - Sushil Kumar .

Friday 10 August 2012

Step Up REViewLution

"A mob consist of mindless crowd " .... Well , the movie was made to oppose the saying ...

In this 4th installment of moves , the group performs as flash mobs ...
With the only motive to get "Likes" on Youtube ...

Don't get the wrong idea from "revolution" .. its not like the mob pulls you out with your hand and asks to dance ..

This time they gives a message from their creativity ..
Dancers .. Dj ... FX artist ... A skilled video guy ... All combines to make it a hit ...


There is no unicorn types uniqueness in the story ... But that is quite aptly balanced by the art of dance and direction and choreography ,,,

The 3D effects are good but nothing to shout about ... the best one though , is ...
The mob in a meeting *first step to revolution*


The end performance is breathtaking .. You'd be speechless after that ...
Muse also shakes a leg *head* in the knockout mob ...


All in all its an entertainer .. Go for it if you are not a great story analyst ...
 4 out 5 stars ...
Warning : You may *desperately* want to  join dance classes while exiting from the theater .

Friday 3 August 2012

London "Dreams"

Remember the movie with the same title ?? ...

India's performance in London is going the same as the movie did on Blockbuster Charts ...


Every day I get up to see India TV's headlines ...
"Aaj Chalega Swarn Teer Chalegi Sone ki Goli , Hockey Machayegi Hahakar .... "

At the end of the day , its Night ... Literally ... Ohh no ...wait ... Metaphorically .




 First it was Deepika Kumari ...
 It was too much to ask from a 18 year old .. *apparently*
 but yeah she is World No. 1 ...

Then the national game .. *its not Cricket folks* Hockey ...
They lost their first match spiritedly ...
Second match ... The same result and yeah this time , lost the spirit too ..

Badminton ...
Forget Jwala , Poonaappa , V Diju , P kashyap *also forget the spell errors*
The cock sensation .. Saina Nehwal also saw an Ousted . 

Many other "Gold Potential" players also disappointed/ing ...

Although , there are many more left in the fray

We have Sushil Kumar , Vijender Singh *The man who dance like a butterfly and stings like a bee* ..


.. but its good not to let your hopes up ..
KLPD .. is a harsh thing ... *Vivek's New Movie*

The Olympic association should atleast reward India Tv for their constant tips on how to grab a gold ...

and just hoping he is not the last one *Indian* on the Podium ..


I know if there was a Medal for "Hoping" ... India would end up with a Billion of those ....

.... Dream On ...

Thursday 2 August 2012

OverFed Media !!


There are days like these ...............






A Two hour detailed Discussion with the "Concerned Experts" on the Beverages of the Species whose Existence is still in doubt .

Or it could be the Dead man Bal Thackrey attending his own Funeral at Shivaji Park ..
 Real "Breaking News" that is ...



Or When they telecast a package on "Dhoni ka 12 Inch" ... Na Na , see the proof .....


Well these are the days when you have to search news literally form North East South and West , Every hole every whole .
Apparently they even traveled into the other space ...

Lets talk about the present scenario ..

News is basically defined in Hard news and Soft News .. as from the name it is evident Hard one is more important .

Well , now is the time showering Hard news from all the above described directions .

Gagan Won a Bronze , A loses in Olympics , B crashes Out *India has many of those* , India Won/hammered by Sri Lanka in Mobilink Jazz Series Against Sri Lanka , Anna Still on Fast , Powercuts ....

These are just few .. Well The Blasts , Pune Blasts also got a little overshadowed ... So forget about the regular Killings , Sex Racket and Corruption Charges ..

Now , is the Good time for Filmstars to live their live to fullest .....

Except Sunny Leone ... Her Jism is on Fire .. Literally ....

At the end i would just like to wish luck to media ... Choose the right news .. and yeah lets lunge a bit ahead of the TRP cloud .... *I can hear them say "booooo"*


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